i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Randomize
