Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
