So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
