i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Randomize
