there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize