me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
