who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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