Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Randomize