absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
