You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
