Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Randomize
