Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
