p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
