I need to stop coming to work sober
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
