we have officially lost it.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
