perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
