she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
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