Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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