Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
