i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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