Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
