I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
