The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I think your dad took our porno
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
