toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
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