Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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