Dual....:-)
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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