Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
