is your mom at the bar?
You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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