Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
