Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
