Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
