I've blown a few things in my day
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
