My brain says no but my pants say off.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
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