hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
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