I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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