so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize
