I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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