do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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