maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
This is classic penis vs brain.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
