Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Randomize
