Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
did i just pee glitter
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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