You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize