Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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