my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
