:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Randomize
