Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Randomize
