Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
