Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Randomize
