Grow some girl-balls and come out already
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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