Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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