porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
