I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I checked into jail on foursquare
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
