Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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