Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
