I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
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