Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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